diff --git a/apps/landing/src/components/typing-cursor.tsx b/apps/landing/src/components/typing-cursor.tsx
index b8e1269f..53e6f68e 100644
--- a/apps/landing/src/components/typing-cursor.tsx
+++ b/apps/landing/src/components/typing-cursor.tsx
@@ -4,31 +4,21 @@ import { AnimatePresence, motion } from "framer-motion";
 import { useCallback, useEffect, useState } from "react";
 
 const phrases = [
-  "No signups. No accounts.",
-  "No uploads to the cloud. Ever.",
-  "100% local processing.",
-  "Free. Forever.",
-  "No limits. No hidden caps.",
-  "Works fully offline.",
-  "Unlimited batch processing.",
-  "50+ image tools.",
-  "16 AI models. Your hardware.",
-  "Lightning fast. Built on Sharp.",
-  "Air-gapped ready.",
-  "One Docker container.",
-  "Open source. Always.",
-  "Every pixel stays on your hardware.",
-  "Your server. Your rules.",
-  "Deploys in a single docker pull.",
-  "The self-hosted alternative.",
-  "Resize, compress, convert. Locally.",
-  "Free image editor. No watermarks.",
-  "Bulk image processing. Unlimited.",
-  "Remove backgrounds offline.",
-  "Self-hosted Canva alternative.",
-  "No API keys needed.",
-  "GDPR compliant by design.",
-  "Works without internet.",
+  "Your images never leave your server. Novel concept, right?",
+  "One Docker pull. That's the install guide.",
+  "Runs offline. Even works during the apocalypse.",
+  "Remove backgrounds. Upscale photos. No Photoshop required.",
+  "Open source. Read every line if you'd like.",
+  "No watermarks. No 'upgrade to unlock'. Just tools.",
+  "We don't know what your images look like. And we'd like to keep it that way.",
+  "Process a thousand images at once. Nobody's counting.",
+  "Built by people who got tired of uploading images to strangers.",
+  "Compress, resize, convert. Right from your browser.",
+  "50 tools in a trenchcoat pretending to be one Docker container.",
+  "Free forever. Not 'free trial' forever.",
+  "No accounts. No tracking. No 'we value your privacy' banner.",
+  "Works on a server. Works on a laptop. Works on a Raspberry Pi.",
+  "Install once. Use forever. No subscription required.",
 ];
 
 export function TypingCursor() {